Dear People-Who-Keep-Fat-Shaming-Chick-Fil-A-ers,

Dear People-Who-Keep-Fat-Shaming-Chick-Fil-A-ers,

Really? Is that necessary? Yes, it is a little ridiculous that the way people in this country can be activists in this SPECIFIC situation is through chicken, but really?! What's the difference between them getting a chicken sandwich value meal and you going to any other place on that day in protest of Chick-Fil-A and getting a chicken sandwich value meal? This horrible outcry against marriage equality and gay rights in general is NOT ABOUT CHICKEN. It just so happens that it started because of the notorious interview with a guy who owns the restaurant, so of course.. it's where? At the restaurant.

So, please stop. You're making us look bad. I'm fat and I'm not eating chicken sandwiches. And on Wednesday, I actually went to a fast food chain and got a salad! It doesn't matter what people are eating, they have every right to eat what they want, whether it's in the name of activism or not. What about a few weeks or a month or however so ago when these people were boycotting Oreo's when the company released the rainbow stuffed cookie picture and we were all, "I'm going to buy as many Oreo's as possible!", "I'm better than you!", "Yee-haw!"? They could have said (and probably did say something) about how lavish the gays were.

Now you're saying that these people can go for an appreciation day at the restaurant and that it's fine because when you are equally married they'll just end up sitting at home with Type 2 Diabetes? REALLY?! That's so damn rude, and discredits the illness, along with people who have it. YES, I agree, closed-mindedness and ignorance is shown when these people support a restaurant that hates us as a community, but it DOES NOT show that all fat people are bigots and hate the gays.

So please stop. I don't appreciate the fat-shame, because, well, I'm FUCKING FAT. And I'm a big old damn queer and I'm not eating chicken sandwiches but guess what? I'm still FUCKING FAT.

Sincerely Your's,
Cortnie xo

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Heteronormativity is the Biggest Bully on the Block!

So, I have a question for my fellow queers. You straighties/breeders/'normal' people though, please KEEP reading. 

I need to write about the problems that heteronormativity brings about. You may be wondering, what is heteronormativity, though? Basically, it's the thought that someone is straight because it's the norm, it goes along with heterosexism, and it is the cause for MANY frustrations. I've had people tell me that it isn't a big deal, to just get over it.. and how do these people identify? Straight. Heteronormativity is the reason that gays can't get married, it's the reason that Dancing With the Stars only has opposite gender (whatever that even means) dance partners, it's the reason research studies are very exclusive, and it's the reason that if I'm out of my comfort zone of school and work that I get asked questions like, do you have a boyfriend? Are you married? Girl, why dontcha gimme ya numba cause dat ass is hot?

It's the reason why I get all bent out of shape if someone assumes that I'm straight, even though I make it a point to say that I'm queer and not a lesbian. Why do I get so pissed when someone asks if I'm married, when I could easily fall in love with a dude and marry him? Why do I get so pissed if some guy compliments me and wants me? Why does my blood boil if a straight man gives me a compliment? It's because these people are completely devaluing and degrading the thoughts that I have for women. They aren't important, they don't matter, and they aren't real because of the fact that they aren't recognized! It'd be nice to go somewhere and start a conversation with a stranger and have them ask me if I had a partner. It'd be awful nice to hear that! But we don't hear that because it isn't the norm.

Heteronormativity is one of the reasons why I am constantly coming out of the closet. It's not that I don't like talking about my queerness, because clearly I love it, but when people don't recognize it as a possibility, it feels like it doesn't matter. Which in turn makes me feel like I don't matter. If I feel this way, I can't even imagine how many other people do. This is the reason so many kids are killing themselves. This is the reason why so many people who are queer end up going along with what our culture asks of them and wind up getting married and having kids.. to later come out and be looked down upon because of their 'lie' of a life.

Heteronormativity is the reason behind the stigma that I could be checking out a woman because I'm jealous of her. Women aren't supposed to check other women out, and if they do it's because they either want to look like them or because they are internally condemning them for how they look. Thanks diet companies! Judging. Well, I say fuck that. If I'm checking out a woman, it's not because I'm fat and I'm praying to look like her someday, it's because I think she's fucking hot! It's the reason why if I see a guy and think he's hot and he makes eye contact with me that I look immediately away, in fear of him assuming I want him (which I easily could, there are lots of hot guys) and him assuming I'm straight or something.

I honestly think the ideas behind heterosexism and heteronormativity are stopping me from even thinking about dating a guy. Not to mention that the thought of a penis anywhere close to me makes me want to die. I'm not sure if that point is relevant in this post, but I think it is somewhat connected. I'm in Florida, as many of you know, and my family and I have had conversations.. duh. Well, some of them discredit me. I'm not trying to be all confrontational or sensitive.. but they do! There was a conversation about a woman who was married a handful of times and finally found her soulmate in her last marriage, and it was discussed that this was a great thing. During conversations like this, I literally sit there in fury. I sit there thinking, will I ever have that right in my lifetime? To marry whoever I want in hopes of finding the one? Who knows if that will ever happen for me? That is why heteronormativity is the biggest bully on the block.

I know that people think that gay pride, rainbows, along with the bumper stickers on my car are obnoxious. They think we geeeetttt it, you're gay. You don't have to flounce it around. This goes along with the, okay, you're gay but I don't want to see it idea. How is that fair? I see straight shit everywhere. On the plane down here, I saw couples kissing and hugging and taking cute pictures. I saw people holding hands at the airport. These people were prancing their sexuality in front of me, so why can't I do the same without being worried of getting harassed or beat up? We put it out there because we have to. I put my identity out in the open because I don't want people assuming things about me. I put it out there for the little teenage queers who need my help. I participate in pride because it is literally the one day where I can maybe hold someone's hand and not feel uncomfortable. It's our day to shine. It's our day to be who we are, and not have to hide it for one tiny second. This is probably (unconsciously) why many of my queer friends go out to gay bars every weekend; it's where they can be themselves.

So, there's my bitchfest. There will be more on this soon! I'm outside at Starbucks and I'm hot so I'm going to go back to Mommom's and have a nice nap! I hope you all enjoy your days!

What do you think about heteronormativity and heterosexism? How do they affect you?

xo cortnie
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We Have a Gay Situation Here, Folks

This dude wants all of the gays to go inside huge electrical fences and drop food to us, in order to get away from the disgust that we bring him. This man is a pastor, this man is 'speaking' God's words. Well my God would never do that. She loves everyone. Even you, ya crazy bitch.

Also, do you know how many of the homos, aka sinners, aka homoseckshules can do incredible things, like getting out of an electrifying fence situation? I stunted in cheerleading, I know gays that go out and get drunk every weekend while running businesses and working full times jobs while going to school, I know some gays that tumble and could just fly on over that damn fence. I know some butch lesbians who could totally handle some shocking situations, if you know what I mean, okay?

In a few years, they’ll die out… do you know why? They can’t reproduce!

We live and we let live. This fucker wants all of the gays to die. He's probably taken to a glory hole or two along with some foot tapping in some bathroom. I don't see gays raging outside in hopes of getting these assholes in concentration like camps. I don't see my community wanting to kill people. I don't see my community bolstering HATE.

Beth does not approve.

xoxo
CORTNIE

Dear President Obama, THANK YOU

Dear Obama, 

According to ABC News, you are the first president of our amazing United States to say that you support same-sex marriage. Today in LGBT Seminar, I received a text from HRC giving me the breaking news. Cold chills sprang through my body from my toes all of the way up to my ears. During the break of our two and a half hour class, the majority of the class stayed in the room to watch the video of his interview, instead of going to the bathroom or to smoke. Many of us were speechless and amazed. Many of us looked at each other with tears in our eyes.

YOU ARE FUCKING AMAZING. I have to be honest, I've doubted you. I've had discussions with friends about how you are pretty moderate as a president. I've said that I'd rather have Hillary Clinton as president. I understand this topic is tough, I get it. But what our country doesn't understand is that you SHOULDN'T be VOTING on human rights. It's insane!

Thank you for all of your hard work. Thank you for admitting your weaknesses in assuming that civil unions were enough for gay people. Thank you for realizing that they aren't enough. Thank you for being amazing.

You will go down in history as the president who cared. You will be applauded 100 years from now for being the president who supported my friends, myself, my professors, my co-workers, the people I walk by on the street, the people who give me the thumbs-up on my bumper stickers. YOU WILL BE REMEMBERED AS AN AMAZING MAN.

Thank you for caring for women. Thank you for caring for students. Thank you for caring for the people who can't care for themselves. Thank you for caring for the LGBT community.

You have my vote.

xoxo
CORTNIE

Bumper Stickers & Gay Love & Stuff

This past Monday, I went to Starbucks in Florence, KY with a friend. I had a fabulous time sitting there talking about everything under the sun, as friends do on coffee dates. But, I got a little depressed when we were leaving. I looked out the car window. That’s really all I did. I looked out this car window and saw a bumper sticker on someone’s car. I’m one to never ignore a bumper sticker; my first car, Zelda, was covered in them, making its opinion well known to other drivers.. 

I always love to stir up controversy. So, anyway, I look over at this bumper sticker. It’s blue—a calming, light blue color. Welcoming, yes? I look a little closer, which I shouldn’t have done, and see this “WE SUPPORT THE MARRIAGE AMENDMENT” crap and then a cartoon man in a tux, a plus sign, a cartoon woman in a wedding dress, an equal sign, and alas, the man and woman and two kids grouped together along with a nice big red heart. The heart is what really hurt me. 

How much hate can one bumper sticker give off? We probably don’t really think about it, but there’s a lot that goes behind a bumper sticker. My old ones included, “pro-choice,” “proud to be a liberal,” “caution: queers on board,” and the classic Obama/Biden sticker. What did people think when they saw mine? Baby-killer? Loud brainwashed liberal? Sinner? So, what did I think when I looked at this specific bumper sticker? I thought of hate. I thought of this person, along with many others, not recognizing me as a full person. I thought of how our government says it is separate from religion, while controlling a religious tradition—marriage. I thought of how two of my very best friends have been together for two years, and if they decided that they wanted to get married.. they wouldn’t be able to. I thought of how if I were to be in a relationship, it wouldn’t necessarily be for NOTHING, but it wouldn’t be recognized as love from my country. It made me think of how I’m trying to better our country but my peers and I continue to be pushed back. 

Then, I noticed a couple (heterosexual as far as I could tell) kissing each other goodbye. I undoubtedly became even more depressed. I can’t do those sorts of things without getting stared at. I'd have to look around, be comfortable in my surroundings, and make sure no one could see us. It’s sad. It’s sad that I'd have to hide my love for someone, that I can’t scream about it in the middle of the city without fear of bullying words, or even worse.. Physical assault. You never know, you know? It’s scary out here for a queer.

Just wanted to regurgitate some of my depressing words onto all of you! Hope you all like them!

;)

xoxo

cortnie

Am I a Lesbian?

So, a little unrelated to my post but I found this video today. Here you go. Heartbreaking but very powerful.

Anyway, I went to dinner with a friend last night and we were chatting about sexuality and sexual labels. If you know me outside of this blog (and if you don't, why don't we get coffee?), you know that I'm a very VERY open person. I'll be the first to say that my sexuality is weird, and I talk about it openly if it's brought up. Well, I guess that's why I'm posting this today.

After about a half of a day of self-reflection, I'm even more confused. I've considered myself sexually open in the past. I've been in that awkward "we're just talking" stage of a relationship with a transguy, I've been attracted to men, I've been attracted to women, I'm attracted to.. whatever! But, am I? There's more.

When I think about it in terms of straight (haha) up sex.. it gets more confusing. If I have a line of people in front of me and I can choose any of them to have sex with.. I would choose a woman. But I don't know if I consider myself as a lesbian. I don't know why I don't consider myself a lesbian.. because I truly don't think I could have sex with a man. That's not me being bisexual or just open to sexuality, is it? That makes me a lesbian. Plain and simple, clean cut. Bam. But what if I end up finding a man and I end up with him? I don't want to feel like I've lived a lie or that I've 'betrayed my race', ya know? It's confusing, isn't it?

The thing is, I AM attracted to men. I'm attracted to their muscles and I mean, I can be attracted to them.. so I don't get it. And I'm not afraid of labels, so why is this so difficult for me? Even then there's more to it. I'm attracted to feminine people.. but I also think masculine people are super hot. And androgynous identities are the bomb. What is going on?!

Am I a lesbian?

xoxo

CORTNIE

The Lopsided Gay?! SAY WHAT?!

Spring quarter classes started this week and I had my first one yesterday! LGBT Seminar. I have a feeling that I will have lots of blog posts coming from discussion in that class! 

At the beginning of class we watched this absolutely ridiculous video about how gay people are associated with a lopsided body. But this dude explains it in terms of kidneys. And symmetry. Yeaaah. If you click the video to go through to YouTube, you can see the maker of the video, Happeh, reply to comments on the stupid thing. Here are a few of his ideas behind his medical explanations. 

Homosexuality can be caused by the imbalance between the two sides of the body. Or Homosexuality will cause the imbalance to worsen.
Yes it is abstract. What can I do? It is a short minutes long video.
The human body may not rest on a pair of oversized kidneys, but it is a valid theoretical model to use to demonstrate how the human body behaves in this situation."
Just to give you a slightly deeper look at happeh, here is what he says about bisexuality:
"Bisexuality is the intermediate stage between being straight and being homosexual.
A straight person will begin to develop homosexual feelings if they masturbate too much. They deal with these feelings by telling themselves they are bisexual.
Bisexuality only lasts for awhile. The process of the body changing continues until the person becomes fully homosexual.
There are, just like any thing else, exceptions. Not 100% of bisexuals will become 100% gay.

Um.. WHAT?! Excuse me?! So.. does that mean if someone loses a leg or an arm or .. whatever that they are suddenly gay? I'm confused.

But, I saw a weird pattern between this symmetry/lopsided body gay thing. Do you notice anything interesting here?
   

IS THIS WHY THE GAYS HAVE ASYMMETRICAL HAIR? ARE THEY TRYING TO BALANCE THEMSELVES OUT? IS IT DETERMINED FOR GAYS TO HAVE UNBALANCED HAIR?... AND LIVES?

Okay, CAPS is over. Whatcha think?! Love you all.

xoxo
CORTNIE

Saturday Night STUPID

Yeah, I know the title is a little silly but Saturday Night Live last night PISSED ME OFF.
In case some of you pretty readers weren't aware, I'm in LOVE with Lindsay Lohan. She was hosting, so obviously I had to watch it. I was disappointed to say the least.

A lot of things irritated me last night. I'm going to pull a Seth & Amy and REALLY SNL?! 'til the cows come home.

First of all, Lindsay's monologue.. really? Oh yeah, it's so funny that Lindsay is a recovering addict! While she's doing her monologue she was continually interupted with pat downs and eye checks. It's great that Lindsay can laugh about it, but she obviously didn't actually write these lines, a writer for SNL did. A writer who probably has never had a drug problem. This is giving the impression that recovering addicts can't do things for themselves and that they can't actually accomplish shit.

Next, we have the infamous spoof commercial piece that SNL loves. Disney Housewives. Okay, that's funny. It's great that SNL wanted to make it look like these Princesses aren't perfect, blah, blah. BUT WHAT THE HELL with the dwarf comment?! REALLY?! Why. Why. Why. Didn't watch it? Here's a clip.



Cinderella says she wants to raise money for dwarfs because they aren't real people. Snow White gets pissed. Not because of Cinderella's comment, but because dwarfs are HER THING. We realize that Cinderella is a damn drunk and doesn't know what she's saying, but STILL. How is it okay to say this shit? I have a very good friend who is a little person and she definitely IS a person, so screw you SNL. Also, they portray Jasmine as being poor and what is the difference between Jasmine and all of the other Princesses? She's the only Princess of color and they show her crying in the bathroom because she and Aladdin ran out of money.. and we're supposed to LAUGH at that. Hilarious. So funny.

The skit that pissed me off the most was the skit with Lindsay and Keenan in the jail. They do this skit all of the time, always making gay sex jokes and it incidentally is titled 'Scared Straight'. Because if you go to jail/prison you're automatically gay and have ass sex and you have to scare them out of prison or in other words, scare them straight.



What do they say to scare them? Oh, gay sex jokes, taking about ass sex.. discharge.. big dicks, hurt, pain. Because gays have disgusting sex. Ew, gross. You put WHAT WHERE?! You put THAT THERE!? They scare them with RAPE. RAPE. They even say the word RAPE at least twice. I had to zone out after awhile because I honestly could NOT believe that they were saying this shit!

Then we have the Delinquent Girl Teen Gang. Long story short, these bad girls like to dance in the street. They get into trouble for it, but they keep dancing anyway. It's all girls, one of them is a man in drag. They dance and they dance and one keeps getting hit by cars. She is perceived as being an idiot because she keeps going in the street and getting hit by cars. Which one is this, do you think?



Would it be one of the women actors or is it the one in drag? It, of course, is the one in drag. This is giving viewers the idea that people dressing in drag (which is all of us, by the way) or trans people are idiots and should get hit by cars. I don't care if some of you think I'm going to far with this assumption, it really bothered me.

And that's when I stopped watching. God damnit, what is wrong with our television?! This episode of SNL really fed into white privilege, straight privilege and cisgendered privilege. How is it okay that this stupidity is spewed all over a SUPER popular show? How can they have the news piece making fun of Republicans and Rush Limbaugh, and then have this closed-minded assholery mixed in before and after that segment? I don't understand. Did it piss anyone else off?

xoxo
CORTNIE

Gays at the State of the Union! ALERT THE PRESSES

Hey ya'll. Happy Tittie Tuesday to everyone. Today's been relaxing and I've actually gotten a lot accomplished! WOO!!

In honor of this Tittie Tuesday I'd like to talk about lesbians. Specifically the two lesbians that will be sitting beside Michelle Obama tonight while her husband, Barrack Obama, gives his State of the Union address. (Want some facts before you watch the address?)

The first lesbo is Colonel Ginger Wallace, an intelligence office of the Air Force! Get it, girl! She's also bringing her partner with her, so that adds another lesbian to the bunch!

The other lez is Lorelei Kilker, who does a lot of work surrounding equal treatment for women in the workplace and is also an environmental chemist! Yee-haw!

There's talk that there could be a dedication to the repeal of DADT tonight at the address.. lets hope!

BUT in the article where I found this information the writer just kept saying 'openly gay so-and-so' and shit. That's annoying. One of the commenters on the page named Gayle MacDonald actually says, "oh this 'openly gay' thing is just so tiresome. Come to Canada, folks! We don’t CARE who you sleep with!" 

And also, doesn't it suck that Wallace can come and sit with the First Lady and her partner and watch our President speak but our government still doesn't recognize them as a couple that can be married? Isn't that shitty? Don'tcha think? Isn't it sort of, I don't know, rubbing it in a little bit?

Whatcha think?

xoxo

CORT

ps email me!

Sexual Labels & Fluidity

This post is mostly going to be a blurb of nonsense, so be prepared.

I need to talk about sexual fluidity and sexual labels. I'll be specifically talking about women, because that's the area that I have the most experience with, considering I am a woman!

To begin, I'd like to talk about the Kinsey Scale. Hate me all ya want, but I think a scale of some sort is better than three simple labels of: straight, bisexual or gay.

0 Exclusively heterosexual

1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual

2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual

3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual

4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual

5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual

6 Exclusively homosexual

X Non-sexual

In regards to this scale, I would label myself somewhere in the range of 3 and 5. That's the downside from even having this scale.. I can't say that I'm equally hetero and homo and I also can't say that I'm incidentally heterosexual.. I don't know, it's confusing. Why should I even have to explain myself?

So, anyway.. what happens when a woman in particular is sexually fluid? What if a woman who has always labeled themselves as straight suddenly finds themselves attracted to a woman? Does this make her gay or bisexual? Or is she still straight? What does this say about the woman that she likes? Does this mean the woman that she likes has masculine or male-dominated qualities... does the woman think of her as a man..? That's doubtful, but it does make you think, doesn't it?

I blame all of these stupid ass questions on our culture's need to label EVERYTHING. Things can't just be the way they are.. we have to always have labels. It's been researched that women are more interested in being with a person, while men are more interested in gender and sex. This concept gets confusing and I do not by any means support or believe statistics like that, it just further feeds more into stupid stereotypes.

So what was the point in this post? I'm not sure, it's kind of a regurgitation of shit, which I apologize for. 

What do you all think about this topic?

xoxo
CORTNIE 

Things-I-Love Thursday // Fotoshop & Queer Facts

Here we are again, ya'll! Things that are hoppin' around in my head this week! Things that I looooove. Lets get on with it.

First of all, this video.



Fotoshop by Adobé from Jesse Rosten on Vimeo.

I know it's joking about a not funny topic, one that I'm actually (and obviously) VERY passionate about, BUT it makes people realize how damn stupid our media's editing is! What do you think about this video? How does it make YOU feel?

ANOTHER THING THAT I LOVE OH MY GOD I LOVE IT is this Tumblr that I found, Facts About Queers. I am in heaven. Literal heaven. Wanna hear some facts, honeys? Get ready!

FACT: Homosexuals can "bond" with a partner, becoming a two-headed giant with vast magical power.

FACT: Lesbians drink red wine to stay youthful, though the souls of young children work just as well.

FACT: Before a trans*-identified person can change their given name, they must first make a pilgrimage from their birth location and circumnavigate the globe.

FACT: There are exactly 397,286 genders.

FACT: A lesbian's sting may cause swelling, and an inexplicable desire for peaches.

OKAY, now you see why I love this Tumblr?

What else am I obsessed with this week? GIFs!











Okay, I'm finished. No, no I'm not. Here's a cute kitty picture that I love.



Love you all :*

XOXO
CORTNIE

Things-I-Love Thursday // Fantasy Gay Footballers, Tim Gunn & Republicans

Hello, hello. How's everyone doing? Hopefully you're fabulous, like me! On to the things that I love today!



Here's a picture from a GQ article (linked through the picture or right here) where someone interviewed Erin Andrews. Okay, I hate this picture because of all of these dirty men are gawking at this clean reporter (WOMAN). Women are never dirty, didn'tchaknowthat(?) and men ALWAYS are! I love this picture for one reason, and one reason only. I love this picture because when I first saw it, I thought.. statistically, it would make sense for at least one of these dudes to be gay.. so I thought about it and I think Mr. #76 up in the right is; I mean, look at the face he's making. He's either completely uninterested and thinking about rim-jobs or maybe that's his O-face. Who knows? Someone who's definitely interested? Mr. #46 to the left of Andrews. He's all, look at that ass!



SNAPE EARRINGS! Enough said.

I also love this thread with quote from Tim Gunn (even though he's been known to bash my girl Hillary's pantsuits):

"Have you seen most of the plus-size sections out there? It’s horrifying. Whoever’s designing for plus-size doesn’t get it. The entire garment needs to be reconceived. You can’t just take a size 8 and make it larger. In my travels, I’ve been an advocate for larger women. I’ve been talking to designers, but only a half-dozen make an effort. Most say, ‘I don’t want a woman who’s a size 10 or 11 wearing my clothes.’ Well, shame on you! It’s not realistic. We need to address real women with real needs."

The best part of the thread? This:



AND finally:



Good day to everyone!

XOXO
Cortnie

Gay Assumptions & My Identity

First of all, I want to thank EVERYONE for the amazing feedback on my Fat Friday/Fat Acceptance post. I am so appreciative, and I was in heaven all weekend! I hope everyone learned something from it and I hope everyone had a fabulous new year!

ANYWAY

Lets talk about a few gay issues that are on my mind at the moment, sar about my A.D.D., you'll just have to deal.

First, I want to talk about this article I saw, How to Explain Gay Rights To An Idiot, because it spread around Facebook and Tumblr like wildfire within the last few weeks. I hadn't clicked on it until tonight, and ya know.. I like it, I guess. One thing that stood out to me, though, are assumptions. The first few panels of the comic-stripish whatever drawings say, here's this person, you assume they can get married. Um.. no. That's not right. That's essentially the same thing as saying, here's this person, you assume they are straight. I say that because the majority of gay people in our country CANNOT get married, therefore if you're assuming someone CAN get married then you're assuming they're STRAIGHT. I know, I told you that I'm all over the place. I warned you.

This brought me to another problem I have, personally. I've had lots of experiences, as I'm sure many of my queer peers
(hehe, queer peers kind of sounds like a team or something)
have, where people assume things, as the article that I mentioned above suggested. People usually assume I'm completely straight, people assume I like men, and only like men. When in actuality--which isn't super relevant but whatever, I actually would prefer a woman, men are kind of ... just there, but I can be attracted to them therefore I don't necessarily rule them out.

I've even had people tell me that I don't like girls, which is funny, and their reasoning? That I'm just uncomfortable with my body and I'm afraid of a man seeing it. Um.. man or woman, if I was uncomfortable with my body then I'd be uncomfortable with my body.. it doesn't matter what gender the person is and my body doesn't define my sexuality.
Okay, stepping off that bigass soap box now.


ANYWAY, I worked at a salon in Northern Kentucky for about a year, and you'd think that would be a pretty gay friendly place..
(the fact that it's a salon, not that it's in Kentucky, of course)
, but people were STUNNED when after probably 9 months of working there I was suddenly 'outted' when I never was hiding who I was in the first place! It ended up being 'the gossip' of the break room, and I was asked plenty of questions about my sexuality for months. That's fine. I'm up for answering questions. BUT do I sit around and ask people when they figured out they were straight? When their first straight experience was? No. Because THAT would be weird, right? EXACTLY. Get out of my business! Que amazing YouTube video:



I know I'm babbly-mc-blabberson tonight, but this topic goes in a lot of directions. I'm considered by some of my friends (mild friends) to be a lipstick lesbian, even though I don't label myself as a lesbian... how can I be a lipstick then? And in relation to that, I actually had a friend tell me this weekend that he didn't know what I was until recently. Why does it matter? I've even had people tell me that I'm androgynous. Awesome, that's great. Is that why people get confused? And really, the only thing that could physically categorize me as androgynous would be my short hair cut... but are these people saying that my attitude is masculine? Is that why I'm androg? I'm confident and I'm loud and try not to put up with peoples' shit.. does that make me manly? I think that's a topic for another day.

All in all, lets stop assuming things about people, okay? What's it matter what label I have for myself? People have to feel comfortable about themselves, and in order for that to happen, they need to be comfortable with their surroundings.. and if I'm an aspect of said surrounding.. then I guess that's why questions come up.

What do you all think?

xoxoCortnie

Letter to my Gay Son

Today, I went on one of my favorite websites, Unicorn Booty. They talked about an article in The Huffington Post, an article written by Randi Reitan—which isn’t really an article per say.. it’s a letter to her son for Christmas. I felt this was relevant, since yesterday was Christmas and all. :)

So, click on the link and go read the letter. Go on. Read it.

Okay, so I’m sitting with my mom when this article pops up on my laptop, so obviously I make her pause her TV show so that I can read it to her. I’m reading it, and I’m so oddly (yet not too oddly) fixated on this letter; I felt like it was more than a letter between a mother and a son, I felt like this letter was to me.. to all of the gay community. That’s the great thing about the internet, though, right?

Anyway, I’m reading it and towards the middle of it I’m noticing this terrible lump in my throat but I continue reading because out of the corner of my eye I can see my mother staring at me and intently listening—which, no offense mom, doesn’t happen all of the time (especially when one of her shows is on).

I look up after I’m finished reading. I look at my mama and her nose is red, a surefire sign that she’s about to cry or has been crying. I notice a tear roll down her cheek and then my eyes instantly water up. Why are we so emotional about this letter? The mother in this letter wants to give her son one gift for Christmas—equality.

You hear a lot of jokes around Christmas time about people coming out to their families, blah, blah, including that HILARIOUS Funny or Die video that I’m sure a lot of you have seen. I even have a close friend that dealt with that over the holiday, not coming out necessarily, but family asking about the elephant in the room. And I’ve had a dose of that with my brother in the past few weeks, asking me how a date that I went on awhile back went, with a girl (GASP!), when I’ve never officially ‘come out’ to him.

I want to dedicate this post to all of the mothers, fathers, family members, friends and the whole community that supports equality in our world. I want to thank everyone for all of the work that they’ve done in achieving that goal, for us and for our children. I want to thank my mama for being the best mama in the world, for accepting me for who I am.. even when I’m confused about what I want in life, when I’m poor as shit, or when I blab about liking women and men. I know I sound like a beauty pageant princess with all of these thank yous, but I don’t really care. I’m thankful for our world, we can move in the right direction, if our government would stop being so crazy.

So read the letter, share the letter, cry a little bit if you need to, and have a great night.

xoxo
Cortnie