Wednesday, August 8

You Are Not a Number.

I'm here to let everyone know one simple thing. You are not a number. I used to believe that I was a measly collection of different numbers--I still sometimes go back to that sad, depressing place, but I am here to say.. you are more than that.
My loves, you are so much more than useless numbers. It seems that everything in our society has a grading scale, or a number attached to it. Maybe it's to categorize us as citizens, or maybe it's to make us feel like complete shit. Either way, we have to combat these numbers.

You are not the amount of debt that you have, try your hardest not to let it weigh you down. You are not your credit score. No matter the hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt that you have, you are not that debt. What do you think of when you think of debt? I think of the classic elementary number line, and I think of negative numbers. Do not place yourself down in the negatives. You may owe money, yes, but that is not all that you are. You are the education that you received from that money, you are the cute clothes and the cute shoes you may have gotten on that Capital One card on a day when you needed to feel happy.

You are not the number on the scale. You are not the technical, scientific weight of what gravity makes of you. You may want a scale for health reasons, that's totally fine and it's your prerogative, but try not to let it get out of hand. Don't look at that number and listen to the media and consider that as your worth. Do not look at that number and think it's too big and consider yourself worthless. Do not look at that number and think it's too small and consider yourself as less than. Your body lets you live everyday, don't belittle it by making its worth a simple number.

You are not the height that you carry. You are not the ruler. You are perfect. It doesn't matter if you're so tall that you have to look down at all of your friends. It doesn't matter if you're so short that you have to look up to the world. It is not your wrongdoing that the world was not made with you in mind. You are not that discretion, and that is not your inadequacy--you are not flawed.

You are not your sexual partner number. You should not feel forced to either have sex in order to increase that number, or not have sex to try and plateau or make up for having too many partners. You are your pleasure, you are your agency, you are your sensitive skin, and you are your shivers--whether that's with a partner or not. You are not a number.

I usually have to repeat to myself that I am not a mere number. I have to tell myself that no matter how fat I am, no matter how big my tits are, no matter how chunky my short legs are, no matter how much student loan debt that I have, no matter much that scale tells me that I weigh, that I am not a number. You take it for what it is, and you swipe it off of your shoulders. I know that it's hard.

It's hard for me to step on the scale and see the number that I see. Sometimes I get sad about it, and starve myself all day, just to come home and stuff myself with dinner. I am not that number. I am my breasts. I am my soft skin. I am my mop-like hair that desperately needs colored. It's also hard for me to see how much student debt that I have, and it's hard for me to look at my monthly bills when my salary isn't even enough to pay them. But in 20 years will I be so bad off? Lets hope not.

We have to rise up and we have to love ourselves. We are not a stupid collection of numbers. We are people. We have to stop comparing ourselves to everyone else. We have to stop dieting and start living. Instead of hating yourself for having that footlong sub, or that ice cream.. give yourself some love! Why do we treat ourselves so badly?! We have to stop, and I'm as much to blame as any of you could be.

Who's with me? Lets take a stand. Lets not measure our worth with numbers.

cort xo

Friday, August 3

Dear People-Who-Keep-Fat-Shaming-Chick-Fil-A-ers,

Dear People-Who-Keep-Fat-Shaming-Chick-Fil-A-ers,

Really? Is that necessary? Yes, it is a little ridiculous that the way people in this country can be activists in this SPECIFIC situation is through chicken, but really?! What's the difference between them getting a chicken sandwich value meal and you going to any other place on that day in protest of Chick-Fil-A and getting a chicken sandwich value meal? This horrible outcry against marriage equality and gay rights in general is NOT ABOUT CHICKEN. It just so happens that it started because of the notorious interview with a guy who owns the restaurant, so of course.. it's where? At the restaurant.

So, please stop. You're making us look bad. I'm fat and I'm not eating chicken sandwiches. And on Wednesday, I actually went to a fast food chain and got a salad! It doesn't matter what people are eating, they have every right to eat what they want, whether it's in the name of activism or not. What about a few weeks or a month or however so ago when these people were boycotting Oreo's when the company released the rainbow stuffed cookie picture and we were all, "I'm going to buy as many Oreo's as possible!", "I'm better than you!", "Yee-haw!"? They could have said (and probably did say something) about how lavish the gays were.

Now you're saying that these people can go for an appreciation day at the restaurant and that it's fine because when you are equally married they'll just end up sitting at home with Type 2 Diabetes? REALLY?! That's so damn rude, and discredits the illness, along with people who have it. YES, I agree, closed-mindedness and ignorance is shown when these people support a restaurant that hates us as a community, but it DOES NOT show that all fat people are bigots and hate the gays.

So please stop. I don't appreciate the fat-shame, because, well, I'm FUCKING FAT. And I'm a big old damn queer and I'm not eating chicken sandwiches but guess what? I'm still FUCKING FAT.

Sincerely Your's,
Cortnie xo

ps; Want to comment but don't see the Facebook comment box? Click the title of this post, or click the time it was posted and BAM! You should see the box. :)