Tuesday, January 31

Dear Titties

Dear Titties,

Oh, how do I begin? You're pretty awesome, ya know. A lot of people like you; you sure do get a lot of attention. You've been with me my whole life, changing in size, having growing pains and being all.. big.

You were a 36C in FIFTH grade, how does that happen, Titties?! When Body and I lost 60ish pounds a few years ago, what did YOU decide to do? You protested and grew TWO CUP SIZES! What IS THAT?! How does that happen? We can safely say though, that we break the stereotype that big girls just have big boobs because of their fat.. clearly that's not true in our case!

Remember that one time in 3rd grade when those boys on the playground thought I stuffed my bra to make you look bigger? Remember when they haggled us and made fun of us? I ended up getting fed up and told them to give me $20 and they'd see if I stuffed. Remember that? Oh, life.

Titties, I'm hoping you'll always be with me, until the day I die. I couldn't imagine my life without you. You're so comfy and squishy. I promise to always rub on you monthly while I'm in the shower to make sure you're still.. normal, and if I ever feel anything I will NOT hesitate to go to the doctor to make sure that everything is okay with you. I promise to always love you. I promise to always buy you cute bras to wear, because.. well, who doesn't like cute bras?

I know you get mad at me when I sleep in a bra, and you know what? I get mad at me for that, too! It hurts! I promise to always show you off, to be relentless in my cleavage sharing.. because you're beautiful! I promise to not care that I'm 23 and might not have the perkiest titties because you're so damn big! But shit, Titties, why you so down? Whatever, it is what it is! Also! Are you tired of people asking about our nipples? I'm tired of people asking about our nipples!

Titties, a lot of people like you. I do. You've gotten a lot of love from gay men. Drag Queens. Lesbians. Straight men. Straight women. Queers. Trans.. You're fun, look at you! I love you, a lot!


Monday, January 30

Reproductive Rights

Look what I found on Tumblr this morning, ya'll! Oooof. I would say that there are no words, but you all know that I have plenty of words for this!

First of all, yes to the top half of the poster/flyer/whatever this is.

Second, um.. WHAT. Is this organization referring to my uterus as a plantation and are they referring to delivered babies as slaves?! I don't understand. Right in time for Black History Month, too, huh?

There are lots of other posters on the website, and I'll show just a few.

I really, really don't mean to sound heartless here. But, come on. Come on. The website actually says that this fetus picture is of a miscarriage, not an abortion, so they're screwing with peoples' perceptions. And.. yeah, you are a clump of cells. 

Many of the posters boast on and on about adoption, crossing off the 'b' and the 'r' in the word 'abortion'. I'd like to know how many of these people are actually adopting children. These fetuses could be carried to term and be born and not have a form of stability. They could not be taken care of because of lack of money, resources or even care. And being born and put into the foster system is going to help that? Not necessarily.

No words. 

What about the woman who constantly gets raped by her husband, weekly or daily, and gets pregnant? Do you want her to raise a child in that environment? What about the 13 year old that got raped and ended up catching STDs along with a pregnancy? What about people OTHER than yourselves, AHA? What about me? What about my friends? In a country that doesn't care for the poor, doesn't care about peoples' healthcare needs and seemingly doesn't care about sexism, racism and homophobia... you sure are fighting the good fight.

Is this a rip off of that one video that went viral a few weeks ago?

I love kids. I would love to be pregnant one day, either to have my own child or to be a surrogate. I would love to know what it's like to be pregnant. I would love to know what it's like to raise a child. But when I'm 23? No, thank you. Some people aren't ready. And the 'you know what you were risking by having sex, it's your problem and responsibility' argument? Yes, it's my responsibility, which is why I have the resources that I do. Also, you know what you're risking whenever you get into a car and drive to work, are we going to start blaming people for driving and getting into car accidents because they 'knew what they were getting into and they need to take responsibility for what happens to them'? Hm?

Just think about it. 


Friday, January 27

Dear Body

Dear Body,

I have a lot that I need to tell you and I don't know how much of it I'll remember.. but I'm definitely going to try.  Thank you, first of all, for being my body. Thank you for helping me walk around and sit and do stuff, for holding in my organs and everything, ya know.. that's pretty nice of you. Thank you for being so flexible, too! A lot of people don't think you can be so stretchy because you're so plump, but that's not true! You know, you used to be a cheerleader! I'm sure you didn't forget those long practices, did you? You used to do toe-touches and herkies and stuff, look at you!

You pushed yourself through a vagina and you lived through crawling and learning to walk. We lived through appendicitis at the age of 4, after the doctors just could NOT figure out what was wrong with us and assumed that it wasn't anything with our appendix because we were so young. But we pulled through.  You've helped me live through many deaths in my family; you helped me to get out of bed when our brain was just saying no, we're too depressed. Sometimes, though, Body, you make me sweat too much. That's mainly Brain's fault, and I'll have a talk with her sometime in the future, but when we get anxious could ya just turn off the sweat glands? That's embarrassing! Anyway, you help me do things that are usually simple like move my feet when I wear boots that hurt them and scrape the back of our heels (sorry about that) and you always help me find that perfect flamingo like sleepy position that is oh-so-comfortable. You help me get to classes that are all of the way across campus and even though I complain about it, I'm glad you help me get that refreshing walk into our day. That's more than I can say for myself, most of the time.

Look at us in these pictures! We were having fun, weren't we?

Seriously though, Body, what the hell is up with people? Why do people look at us weird? Why do fashion stylist experts assume that they know what fits right or looks the best on us when they don't even look a thing like us? Why do stores that make super cute clothes forget about us? We look pretty bad ass in a pencil skirt, and you know that the Torrid or the Lane Bryant ones fit us weird because our body isn't like other big bodies because well.. most bodies aren't like other bodies, duh. Why do some doctors look at me weird or squint their eyes when they have to touch us? Why do they assume we eat bad things and sit around all day just because we're bigger than the normal bodies our media shows us?

Why do people assume we're on a diet when I order us a nice big salad at a restaurant? Why do the servers give me the stink eye when they hand me our salad--assuming I'm regretting not ordering that big juicy steak or assuming that I'm feeling shameful for being fat and even eating anything at all? I know I'm guilty of feeling bad when our tummy grumbles sometimes, but I realize -- it's grumbling for a reason! We both know a real tummy grumble when we feel one, right? I'm sorry for listening to our society and feeling sad when you're hungry. I'll try my best to never ever do that to us again.

I'm sorry that some mornings I wake up and feel completely confident in us and then some mornings I wake up and completely despise us. I'm working on that. I'm trying to buy clothes that make us feel good! I'm working on continuing to go against the mold and not wear a bunch of stupid layers just because we're fat. UNLESS it makes us look good, of course. Then I'll layer. And Body, I don't care if people say that we shouldn't be wearing leggings because FUCK THEM. We look good in them and they're comfortable and help us move around easier.

Body, we're cute. We're intelligent. We're beautiful. I love you and I hope you love me, too. I'm working on smoking less and feeding you better things and generally just being healthier for us. Not to conform to certain beauty standards that our media shoves down our throats, but to just feel healthier and more alive.

I love you, Body.


Thursday, January 26


What would YOU like to see on Thursdays? What's your favorite day of this blog? Most people like Fat Friday.. should I make Thursday a fat day, too?



ps don't mind the picture of Cheeto. He got a banana and he loves it.

Wednesday, January 25

What the Fuck PINTEREST?!


I keep getting emails telling me how many of YOU are following my pins on Pinterest and you know what? I DON'T DO SHIT WITH THAT WEBSITE!


So.. why don't all of you people following my basically non-existent pinboard or whatever the fuck it's called FOLLOW ME ON HERE. I know you all have a Google account, and if you don't, it's cake to make one. Do you see how far down that scrollbar goes up in that picture? NOT FAR. That's because I don't sit on Pinterest and devote my time to that. I LOVE THE WEBSITE, but shit.. I have an account and people are following me on there while I'm devoting my thoughts to this blog everydamnday.

So.. come on.

Sorry, I'm irritated.


Tuesday, January 24

Gays at the State of the Union! ALERT THE PRESSES

Hey ya'll. Happy Tittie Tuesday to everyone. Today's been relaxing and I've actually gotten a lot accomplished! WOO!!

In honor of this Tittie Tuesday I'd like to talk about lesbians. Specifically the two lesbians that will be sitting beside Michelle Obama tonight while her husband, Barrack Obama, gives his State of the Union address. (Want some facts before you watch the address?)

The first lesbo is Colonel Ginger Wallace, an intelligence office of the Air Force! Get it, girl! She's also bringing her partner with her, so that adds another lesbian to the bunch!

The other lez is Lorelei Kilker, who does a lot of work surrounding equal treatment for women in the workplace and is also an environmental chemist! Yee-haw!

There's talk that there could be a dedication to the repeal of DADT tonight at the address.. lets hope!

BUT in the article where I found this information the writer just kept saying 'openly gay so-and-so' and shit. That's annoying. One of the commenters on the page named Gayle MacDonald actually says, "oh this 'openly gay' thing is just so tiresome. Come to Canada, folks! We don’t CARE who you sleep with!" 

And also, doesn't it suck that Wallace can come and sit with the First Lady and her partner and watch our President speak but our government still doesn't recognize them as a couple that can be married? Isn't that shitty? Don'tcha think? Isn't it sort of, I don't know, rubbing it in a little bit?

Whatcha think?


Monday, January 23

After Sex Stuff?

Do you like to cuddle after sex or do you just wanna pass out? Ever wonder what your partner is thinking with whatever decision it is that you make? Welp, there was a study done on sex, cuddling, and sleeping; this study is interesting. First of all, it studied heterosexual relationships, but I guess some of the info could be applicable to the gays, too. Anyway. Basically, if a man stays awake and a woman falls asleep before him (specifically after sex) it is because the man is protecting his territory. He's making sure the woman doesn't leave him for another partner, apparently.

Also, the study says that falling asleep after sex could be a way to bypass commitment talk, no matter the gender. SNEAKY! More importantly though, we can bust the stupid myth that men fall asleep once they cum, because the research shows that men and women fall asleep after sex at equal rates. Awp. Sweet, huh? So there ya go, if a man falls asleep first after sex, he's just wantin' to bond.
"The more one's partner was likely to fall asleep after sex, the stronger the desire for bonding," explains Daniel Kruger, research fellow at the University of Michigan, and lead author of the study.
The study also released information about who falls asleep first when there is no sex. Women tend to fall asleep first, according to the researchers, and this could be because they want to bond. Hm.. maybe the women DON'T want to bond via sleepy brain waves, though. The researchers also say that men might stay up later than women because they want to try to have sex.. but then they're shit out of luck when they hear deep breathing and snores from their ladyfriend.

So. Why is this on CORTing Feminism? I want to see a study done on ANY form of relationship, not just straight ones. Stupid, heteronormative, bullshit. Do you think the findings would be different? How would they be different for lesbians.. for gay men.. or just straight up queer relationships? Does gender even matter.. is it just the stage of the relationship you're in? Whatcha thankin'?


Friday, January 20

Fat Girl Rambling

As you all probably know by now, I'm a Fat Acceptance Activist. In my own little way, of course. I'm a fat womyn. I was a fat girl. Well, most of the time.

Do you want to know what really pisses me off? 'You need to lose weight, you're so unhealthy being obese.' Okay, I realize my weight probably doesn't help my organs.. and yeah, maybe sometimes my knees hurt, but fuck that. In my Fat Acceptance blog about a month ago, I talked about my story. I word-vomited it all over the place and I didn't really think about what that meant. Do I regret it? Absolutely, positively not. Never could. But, writing that piece took me to a weird place. And I felt like many people didn't understand what I meant when I said, "Is it wrong of me to not want to feel like a crazy person?" Did you understand what I meant?

After writing it, and realizing how much I loved myself.. I found myself thinking, 'I can be fat and still love myself, it's okay. I'm fat but I'm pretty.' Those are the EXACT OPPOSITE of things that I should be thinking! Where the hell were these things coming from? Why was I looking into mirrors or windows when I was walking by them? Why was I suddenly becoming obsessed with my stomach? Above all else, I kept sucking and pushing my stomach in when I saw my reflection. I didn't pay attention to my floppy arms or my thick thighs; I was focusing on my stomach.. and well my ass. What the hell? Where did that come from?

I think putting myself out there made me more body-conscious. Is that okay? I don't know.
Am I a hypocrite if I'm talking about fat acceptance and then staring at myself in the mirror sucking in my stomach? It's not that I don't want to be thick.. and I definitely am not wanting to lose a shit ton of weight, but it made me realize that my stomach had gotten bigger since I'd moved in with my mom. Did it really get bigger.. or was I just noticing it more because I'd been talking about it more? I suddenly wasn't ignoring it anymore?

So, remember the website I talked about in my first Fat Friday post? Sparkpeople? Well, I went back on there. And after only TWO DAYS of tracking my food, I could feel the anxiety rising back. I could feel these things pulling me from the inside, (cue Donnie Darko time swishy body thing) and I could feel this.. well, thing.. pulling me to my computer or to my Blackberry so I could track every single thing that I ate. Or drank. If I wasn't sure how much granola I had with my morning yogurt, I'd just round UP and say I had a cup when I probably only had like, 1/4 of a cup. At the end of my first day I had 900 calories, which is TOO LOW to begin with, but even then, I probably only had about 750 or 800.. because I was rounding everything up. I stared at my chart on the website thinking .. I can lose 2 pounds a week and lose 8 pounds a month and that adds up to blahblahblah. I was reading articles upon articles upon articles. I could feel my teeth cutting into my bottom lip and I could feel the sweat dripping down my face. The obsession was back. I slammed my computer shut.

What had I done to myself? How could I ever lose weight in a healthy way if I'm constantly becoming this crazy fucking person? If I'm spurting on about fat acceptance then WHY DO I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT? Am I worrying about what people are thinking about me because I'm spewing my beliefs all over the internet? Or am I judging myself too harshly? What am I doing to myself?

This is what I meant by the crazy statement. I don't want to think these things about myself. I want to love myself. I want to love my belly and I want to love my ass. Is that why I'm so into Fat Acceptance? Because I'm trying to convince myself to love my body? Do I need to type about it and blab on about it so that it gets more etched into my head so that Crazy Cortnie goes away and Confident Cortnie makes an appearance? To convince myself that I'm okay? Am I thinking about it too much?

Brandy recently gave me Eve Ensler's The Good Body. Oh, what a great book. It's a quick read and it's absolutely perfect. Raw and perfect. Eve talks about her disgust for her belly and interviews people, as she did for The Vagina Monologues, and it's really perfect. If you're interested in any genre of Fat Studies, definitely look into it. Rent it from the library and fucking read it. So good.

Sorry for blabbing, ya'll. I love every single one of you and I hope you all have a fabulous weekend.


Thursday, January 19

Things-I-Love Thursday // I love Jayson

My best friend for over 7 years was treated badly today, mugged and punched apparently by 3 different people. Even though your face probably looks like shit, you'll always be the cutest little thing in the world. This post is dedicated to you, today, buttcheese.

Okay, Cincinnati. Lets get these people off of our streets. I know that's easier said than done, but jesus.. this was in broad daylight.. it was like 11 AM and my friend was on a break at work and gets beat up and stuff stolen from him? REALLY?! Where were the police? I know there are tons of you downtown, where were you?! Fuckers.

I thought things were getting better in our city? My friends and I can walk around AT NIGHT downtown, walk around OTR at like 2 AM and never get any sort of threat, BUT my friend is outside the most popular library ever, well in our country... and he gets attacked? Really CINCINNATI?!

Here Jay, if I could give you anything, I would give you whatever you wanted! But.. this is what I have. This is for you.

Smoking with Adele? I think you'd like that, huh?

Hopefully Meryl can make you feel better. Also, you know how much I love flat-faced cats. Reminds me of all the times when we lived together and we would sit for hours and watch stupid cat videos on YouTube.

So, feel better poopie. Hopefully I can see you tomorrow and maybe bring you some beer to make you feel better. Or a candle, lord knows you love candles. 

Love you, Jaybay, those dumbies will get what they deserve. 


ps: you and Lady Gaga are twins:

Wednesday, January 18


So, unless you haven't been on the internet in months, you've probably heard about how our government is debating whether or not to (basically) severely censor our internet. Many websites have shown protest to this bill, including Wikipedia and Google. THIS PISSES ME OFF! ARRRRRG.

Our Internet from Engine Advocacy on Vimeo.

What does it mean? Well, you can go to Google, where the logo is blacked out, and Google search, lets say.. Lindsay Lohan. A bunch of links pop up, including Wikipedia. You click on it and you see her Wikipedia page and think, well um.. it's working for me and then BAM! BLACK OUT! The only page Wikipedia is letting people access without the sudden BLACK OUT is the Stop Online Piracy Act page. The Protect IP Act is also up for debate. Both of these would censor the web and make it hard for small businesses to flourish-- considering in our day and age, in the words of Heidi Klum, one day you're in and one day your out.

Do you know what the internet has done for our world? In terms of social media activism.. Cairo protested and it spread throughout our Facebooks, Tumblrs and especially our Twitters. The Occupy Wall Street Movement exploded through Facebook, with tons of pages popping up for different cities throughout our country. Those are only two examples. We can talk to people from across the world because of our internet! Come on, that's awesome!

If our government has a chance to censor our internet.. do you think they'd pass up censoring things like Wall Street protestors if they had the chance? I mean, the news stations are owned by huge corporations that are considered to be people and did we see much coverage of OWS on the television? I didn't. Not to sound super paranoid, but it doesn't seem like our political figures really care that much about us in the first place.. so why WOULDN'T they try to control what we can see online?

What do you think? Are you afraid? Do you think we're going to get blacked out for good?


Tuesday, January 17

Is Betty White a Feminist?


For Tittie Day today, I'd like to talk about Ms. Betty White. First of all, happy birthday! Second of all, lets delve into what Betty has done for the ladies of Hollywood and of our world, shall we? We should recognize that Betty White has been in television and in the Hollywoody business crap for a looooooooong time, according to Wikipedia, she's been in the biz for over seven decades. She's 90 today. Woooo hooo! Get it, girl!

Ms. Magazine has an article from last year discussing the very topic of whether or not Betty is a feminist. Lets dive right on in!

As a kid, show business wasn’t even in the mix. As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be either a forest ranger or a zookeeper. The problem was, back then a girl wasn’t allowed to be either one.

Okay, that's a little feminist, don't ya think? According to Ms. Magazine's article though, Betty doesn't identify as a feminist. Maybe that's because feminist is a bad word in our culture? We'll go into that more tomorrow (shout out to Cindy!). :)

Betty is also known for her animal activism. You've seen the commercials for 1-800-PetMeds, right? Well, check this out.

Okay, so there's that. Then I found a quote from Betty White about marriage equality on Feministing:

“If a couple has been together all that time – and there are gay relationships that are more solid than some heterosexual ones – I think it’s fine if they want to get married. I don’t know how people can get so anti-something. Mind your own business, take care of your affairs, and don’t worry about other people so much.”

So, in a nutshell, Betty White supports women being in Hollywood, supports animal rights and supports equal rights for humans.

Betty, are you sure you're not a feminist?


*I'd like to point out that it isn't clear whether or not Betty said the 'Grow a vagina!' quote or not, but it still rings true to this post.

Monday, January 16

Sexual Labels & Fluidity

This post is mostly going to be a blurb of nonsense, so be prepared.

I need to talk about sexual fluidity and sexual labels. I'll be specifically talking about women, because that's the area that I have the most experience with, considering I am a woman!

To begin, I'd like to talk about the Kinsey Scale. Hate me all ya want, but I think a scale of some sort is better than three simple labels of: straight, bisexual or gay.

0 Exclusively heterosexual

1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual

2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual

3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual

4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual

5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual

6 Exclusively homosexual

X Non-sexual

In regards to this scale, I would label myself somewhere in the range of 3 and 5. That's the downside from even having this scale.. I can't say that I'm equally hetero and homo and I also can't say that I'm incidentally heterosexual.. I don't know, it's confusing. Why should I even have to explain myself?

So, anyway.. what happens when a woman in particular is sexually fluid? What if a woman who has always labeled themselves as straight suddenly finds themselves attracted to a woman? Does this make her gay or bisexual? Or is she still straight? What does this say about the woman that she likes? Does this mean the woman that she likes has masculine or male-dominated qualities... does the woman think of her as a man..? That's doubtful, but it does make you think, doesn't it?

I blame all of these stupid ass questions on our culture's need to label EVERYTHING. Things can't just be the way they are.. we have to always have labels. It's been researched that women are more interested in being with a person, while men are more interested in gender and sex. This concept gets confusing and I do not by any means support or believe statistics like that, it just further feeds more into stupid stereotypes.

So what was the point in this post? I'm not sure, it's kind of a regurgitation of shit, which I apologize for. 

What do you all think about this topic?


Friday, January 13


Happy Friday the 13th, everyone! Hope you're having a super superstitious holiday, today. I stumbled across a blog that I think everyone should read, and it really inspired me, and many of my next Fat Friday posts will be about things from said blog.

But today, Fat Friday is dedicated to me (or other fat women) NOT BEING YOUR FAT FETISH. I am not your object of desire because of my fat rolls. I'm not your play-thing. Just to get that out in the open.

I've had a certain admirer for awhile now. He's cute. He works in food. He's a he. Okay. We were getting to know each other through texting and he suddenly sends me a text asking me if I had any fetishes. Um.. what? So.. I said, um, what? And he said he had one. He labels himself as having a fetish called Feederism. Go on, click the link. You know you wanna.

So, anyway. There it is. This guy remembers me from class and is talking to me because I'm fat. Not because I'm pretty or because I'm sweet, but after telling me this fetish, I realize it's because I'm fat. There's a stigma behind fat women, in particular, that we are insatiable. We can't be tamed. We're always hungry. Well, didn't you know that's why we're so fat? Since we're so hungry we are mean dick suckers, right?

Anyway, Wikipedia so nicely defines Feederism for us:

Feederism describes sexual relationships where both members obtain gratification from the gaining of body fat. Feederism refers to the acts of feeding, encouraging eating, or being served large quantities of food. Sexual pleasure is derived from the act of eating itself, and/or from the process of becoming fatter. Pleasure may be derived from specific changes to specific areas of the body.

The National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance specifically condemns feederism, claiming that the practice typically involves coercing a person to become larger. NAAFA compares this to the practice of coercing a person to become thinner and instead focuses on acceptance.

After reading this, I realized.. oh, is this why he's given me free food before? Talking to some people at work I realized something. Was he giving me free food so I'd gain weight so he'd be able to get off with this fetish? Doesn't the definition clearly say the word 'both'? I had no idea of his fetish at the time, so I was unknowingly participating in it.. isn't that weird? I digress. He starts defending himself, saying the act of someone eating doesn't turn him on, and that he doesn't necessarily want women to gain weight.. he just likes big women and didn't know what to call himself.

So, naturally, I ask him, why do you call yourself a feeder if you don't get turned on from women eating/gaining weight? Did you just need a label for liking big women because society says you aren't supposed to be turned on or even like big women in the first place? So you have to come up with this ridiculous nonfetish fetish to feel better about yourself? To explain to bigger girls why it is that you like them? As if you liking me is some favor to me? I should be grateful? Um, no thanks. I happen to love how I look and you people who think that way can kiss my ass.

So, to make my point. I'm not your fucking fat fetish. I don't need you to like me or to want to have sex with me. I don't fucking need it.


Thursday, January 12

Things-I-Love Thursday // Fotoshop & Queer Facts

Here we are again, ya'll! Things that are hoppin' around in my head this week! Things that I looooove. Lets get on with it.

First of all, this video.

Fotoshop by Adobé from Jesse Rosten on Vimeo.

I know it's joking about a not funny topic, one that I'm actually (and obviously) VERY passionate about, BUT it makes people realize how damn stupid our media's editing is! What do you think about this video? How does it make YOU feel?

ANOTHER THING THAT I LOVE OH MY GOD I LOVE IT is this Tumblr that I found, Facts About Queers. I am in heaven. Literal heaven. Wanna hear some facts, honeys? Get ready!

FACT: Homosexuals can "bond" with a partner, becoming a two-headed giant with vast magical power.

FACT: Lesbians drink red wine to stay youthful, though the souls of young children work just as well.

FACT: Before a trans*-identified person can change their given name, they must first make a pilgrimage from their birth location and circumnavigate the globe.

FACT: There are exactly 397,286 genders.

FACT: A lesbian's sting may cause swelling, and an inexplicable desire for peaches.

OKAY, now you see why I love this Tumblr?

What else am I obsessed with this week? GIFs!

Okay, I'm finished. No, no I'm not. Here's a cute kitty picture that I love.

Love you all :*


Wednesday, January 11


Ohio is going through some tough times, my friends. If you don't know about it I'm here to tell you, in a nutshell, what it is. If passed, the Heartbeat Bill would in turn make Ohio have the most strict abortion laws in our nation, yay. If a heartbeat is detected an abortion would be illegal. So, there ya go. Well, yesterday, more people were arguing for the bill.. and this time guess what they did? Brought their kids!

What the
?! I saw this video from Rachel Maddow's blog, and watch around a minute and a half. A little boy is put up to the podium and he says, "My name is Noah, and I'm four, and I'm a heartbeat."

Really? Noah, you're also a little boy who can't vote. You're a little boy that was most likely born into a stable privileged family (considering the fact that you are at an Ohio Press Conference while 33 Senators watch you and you get on YouTube) and Noah, I'm glad you're alive. That's awesome that your mother didn't have to go through the gut-wrenching awful situation of thinking about having to abort you because she either couldn't raise you or because she wasn't ready for you. Congrats on that, little Noah.

At the end of the press conference, the children gave the Senators teddy bears with sound boxes in them. What? A sound box? Yes. A sound box that gave off the sound of a fetal heartbeat at 18 weeks. EIGHTEEN WEEKS. The Heartbeat Bill, as explained above, would make an abortion illegal at 5 or 7 weeks into a pregnancy. This is incredibly inaccurate and manipulative. 

What the
, Ohio? What? Guh.


Tuesday, January 10

Fundraising for CANCER

Welcome to the brand new Tittie Tuesday! Today I'm going to talk about one topic that really REALLY bothers me.. specifically around October.

You want to know what REALLY irritates me?!


It doesn't seem like people say this sort of thing for any other instance, AIDs Research for example. WHY ARE YOU SAYING you want to RAISE money FOR CANCER?! What the hell? And specifically breast cancer? It pisses me off to NO END!

STOP IT! STOP! Quit saying you're raising money FOR cancer! You want the cancer to GO AWAY! You don't want to FUND IT! You don't want to FUND CANCER you fucking idiot!

And why is Breast Cancer the only cancer that I notice this with? Honestly, you don't see people raising money for LUNG CANCER (research) or MOUTH CANCER (research), do you?! Why does this piss me off so much? I have no idea.

Ugh, whatever. Good day to ya'll. See you tomorrow! :)


Monday, January 9

Vagina Nicknames

So today at work I started research for our production of The Vagina Monologues. I searched for nicknames for .. well, vaginas. First of all, I'd like to start this blog out with one rant. I'm irritated that people call the whole crotchie region of women a vagina, like the whole thing is this one thing. Is that what's wrong with women having to FAKE ORGASMS? What is it, a damn black hole or something? A VAGINA IS A HOLE. My clit is not my vagina and my urethra is not my vagina.. so why is the whole thing referred to as a vagina? Okay, done.

I found a website or kind of a thread I guess, with a TON of vagina nicknames. I feel like I need to post some of them so here you are:

vagina, pussy, bearded clam, vertical smile, beaver, cunt, trim, hair pie, bearded ax wound, tuna taco, fur burger, cooch, cooter, punani, snatch, twat, lovebox, box, poontang, cookie, fuckhole, love canal, flower, nana, pink taco, cat, catcher's mitt, muff, roast beef curtains, the cum dump, chocha, black hole, sperm sucker, fish sandwich, cock warmer, whisker biscuit, carpet, love hole, deep socket, cum craver, cock squeezer, slice of heaven, flesh cavern, the great divide, cherry, tongue depressor, clit slit, hatchet wound, honey pot, quim, meat massager, chacha, stinkhole, black hole of calcutta, cock socket, pink taco, bottomless pit, dead clam, cum crack, twat, rattlesnake canyon, bush, cunny, flaps, fuzz box, fuzzy wuzzy, gash, glory hole, grumble, man in the boat, mud flaps, mound, peach, pink, piss flaps, the fish flap, love rug, vadge, the furry cup, stench-trench, wizard's sleeve, DNA dumpster, tuna town, split dick, bikini bizkit, cock holster, cockpit, snooch, kitty kat, poody tat, grassy knoll, cold cut combo, Jewel box, rosebud, curly curtains, furry furnace, slop hole, velcro love triangle, nether lips, where Uncle's doodle goes, altar of love, cupid's cupboard, bird's nest, bucket, cock-chafer, love glove, serpent socket, spunk-pot, hairy doughnut, fun hatch, spasm chasm, red lane, stinky speedway, bacon hole, belly entrance, nookie, sugar basin, sweet briar, breakfast of champions, wookie, fish mitten, fuckpocket, hump hole, pink circle, silk igloo, scrambled eggs between the legs

That's not even a third of the list, just so you know. My personal favorites? Fuckpocket. Hump hole. Scrambled Eggs Between the Legs. Grumble. and my favorite from the list above? Cock-chafer. Hahaha.

Why do we have nicknames for our vaginas? I searched for penis nicknames and JESUS CHRIST I found a ton! We're not talking about penis, though. Are we?

So why do we feel like we have to call our vagina's by other names? Are we ashamed? Do we hate the word vagina? I mean, it isn't necessarily a pretty word, is it? But is Hairy Doughnut a better name for it? No. Not at all. That's fucking sick.

This got me thinking. Thinking about whether or not I often use nicknames for my privates and I realized.. I'm guilty. I like mine though! I either use 'pussy', 'crotch', 'peepee' or 'ladybits'. Those aren't horrible right?

What do you think about this whole topic? Do you think it means we're ashamed or does it mean that we're finally comfortable enough to talk about our... ladybits?

Stay tuned for next week's post about sex! Fetishes? Sexual fluidity? Stay tuned!


ps What do you call your vagina?

Sunday, January 8


We all like change right?

My weekly schedule is drabbing me out, so I’m CHANGING IT! I hope you like it!

Homo Monday? It’s changing to SEX Monday, so instead of talking about gay sex, I can talk about ALL issues with sexuality in general.

Time Tuesday? BORING. It’s changing to TITTIE Tuesday! Anything involving TITS gets in! Women things, ya know.

Whatever Wednesday? Boring. It’s What-the-Fuck Wednesday instead. Here I’ll complain about something that I see that I hate.. like a stupid commercial or something else, ya know.

Things-I-Love Thursday is going to stay put.. for now.

And of course we’ll still have Fat Friday.

Thank you and goodnight.


Friday, January 6

Fat Clothing Options!

Sorry that my post is so late, everyone. Classes started last week and I'm all over the place with Feminist Critical Readings, Feminist Theory, Feminist Methods AND French 102. Because of that, I needed to go out this past weekend. My goal is to NOT BE LATE WITH POSTS EVER EVER AGAIN. Love you, love you wanna eat you up.

With all of the amazing feedback I received from my first Fat Friday, I can say with complete honesty that 1) I was in heaven and 2) I'm fucking terrified that my other Fat Friday posts aren't going to be up to par. For this Fat Friday, I wanted to dedicate my words to Fat Fashion.

Trust me, people, I know how difficult it is to find clothes for a fat body. I have an unusual
(or just not very common in clothing stores)
big girl body type where I have a VERY curvy body: a small upper body and a WABAM lower body. So, the majority of say, tees at Torrid are all super boxy looking on me, and I'd rather have clothes that hug my curves, right? 

I usually find clothes at American Apparel (despite their plus-size controversy, their clothes fit me so well), Target (despite their gay-hating history, their leggings are awesome) along with other random places like thrift stores, sometimes Torrid, Lane Bryant's Cacique collection for my skivvies and I've gawked at ASOS, even though I've never ordered anything from the site before. ALSO before you walk into H&M and immediately turn out, I've gotten amazing things from there before, including this hotashell dress that I posted last Fat Friday, so don't go into a panic and run out, it's all about the fabric.. not the number on the tag:

The fashion industry has hated us plussies for awhile now, but they are getting better.. I'm guessing because I'm not sure it could get much worse. While researching this morning, I found a model's story, (much like Crystal Renn's battle with eating disorders, [have you read her book?]) Heather Hazzan went from tiny to plus modeling. Here's some proof that the modeling world is improving, even if it's just a tad.


Tumblr is FULL of fat fashion blogs, yay! I've been following some for awhile now, and really.. if you're feeling uninspired, you should definitely go to some of them! You can see people that look like you in clothes that you like, you can see where to find clothes and you can even talk about how some clothes fit and some clothes just don't! Awesome, right??

Here are some of my favorites!

This is from Fat Girl Fashion, which is a blog that is run by two lovely ladies. Check it out!

There is another Tumblr that my eye has been on for a LONG TIME and that's the Curves Appreciation Society, where bodies of all kinds are posted.. and even from this Tumblr alone you can find lots of Fat Fashion blogs.

There's also FuckYeahChubbyFashion, which is another collection of random peoples' outfits!  Look at that DRESS ON THE LEFT OH MY GOD GUH.

Who needs this dress? I NEED THIS DRESS! Thanks, Hayley, you rock!

So, before you get discouraged when you're shopping or just getting dressed in the morning, take a look at the blogs I've shared.

You're beautiful, okay? So eat, love yourself and share my blogs!


Thursday, January 5

Things-I-Love Thursday // Fantasy Gay Footballers, Tim Gunn & Republicans

Hello, hello. How's everyone doing? Hopefully you're fabulous, like me! On to the things that I love today!

Here's a picture from a GQ article (linked through the picture or right here) where someone interviewed Erin Andrews. Okay, I hate this picture because of all of these dirty men are gawking at this clean reporter (WOMAN). Women are never dirty, didn'tchaknowthat(?) and men ALWAYS are! I love this picture for one reason, and one reason only. I love this picture because when I first saw it, I thought.. statistically, it would make sense for at least one of these dudes to be gay.. so I thought about it and I think Mr. #76 up in the right is; I mean, look at the face he's making. He's either completely uninterested and thinking about rim-jobs or maybe that's his O-face. Who knows? Someone who's definitely interested? Mr. #46 to the left of Andrews. He's all, look at that ass!

SNAPE EARRINGS! Enough said.

I also love this thread with quote from Tim Gunn (even though he's been known to bash my girl Hillary's pantsuits):

"Have you seen most of the plus-size sections out there? It’s horrifying. Whoever’s designing for plus-size doesn’t get it. The entire garment needs to be reconceived. You can’t just take a size 8 and make it larger. In my travels, I’ve been an advocate for larger women. I’ve been talking to designers, but only a half-dozen make an effort. Most say, ‘I don’t want a woman who’s a size 10 or 11 wearing my clothes.’ Well, shame on you! It’s not realistic. We need to address real women with real needs."

The best part of the thread? This:

AND finally:

Good day to everyone!


Wednesday, January 4

Crazy People 1.0

Okay, so I'm sure a lot of you have seen the Barbie Mom by now. This mother, named Sarah Burge gave her 7 year old daughter a liposuction voucher for Christmas. Whoa, mom! That's so sweet! She also gave her a voucher for a boob job for her birthday, as the Huffington Post wrote about this past June, valued at $10,000. That's a year of school for me! What the fuck?! I almost have no words. Almost.

First of all, this Sarah-Burge-Plastic-Surgery-Woman was quoted:

"She asks for surgery all the time. She wants to look good... I see these vouchers as investing in her future - like saving money for her education. Poppy begged me for a boob job, so I gave her the voucher so she can have it after she's 16, when it's legal. If she develops naturally big boobs, she can have something else done with it."

Well, I wonder why your daughter wants plastic surgery? Maybe because you're addicted to plastic surgery and probably talk about your body constantly? If a 200 pound 8 year old was taken from his family (which I agree, was extreme) then how does this mother still have her child if she's basically giving her gift cards to the plastic surgeon's office to go under the knife and cut her body up? She's investing in her daughter's future? And if her daughter normally grows up to have big breasts then she can use the voucher for something else.. like, I don't know, Botox at 16? Don't even get me started on the mother's comment about "when it's legal," jeez.

The sad thing? This girl has grown up like this and now begs for plastic surgery so that she can look perfect like her mother.

"All my friends were jealous. I can't wait to be like Mummy with big boobs. They're pretty."

God damnit, people. Shit!

What do you think?


Tuesday, January 3

Awesome Womyn Things From 2011

Hey ya'll! So, for the second Time Tuesday I wanted to talk about how friggin' great women were in 2011. Is that okay with you? Do I care?! ;)

Sooo, do you feel like 2011 flew by? Do you feel like nothing happened? I kind of felt like that, too.. so here I am, proving both of us wrong! I found an article from the Huffington Post, The 50 Best Moments for Women in 2011, and damn(!), we did a lot! If you're lazy and you don't want to click that little link up there and go through allllll 50 things, then I'll pick my favorites out for ya.

First of all, we orgasmed. I'm sure there were tons of orgasms from women in 2011, and here's a video of your brain on orgasm! WHOA! Isn't that pretty? Look at all of the colors! Does your orgasm feel like that looks?

Second, Feminist Ryan Gosling began. THANK GOD. Feast your drooling little peepers on this:

Guess what else happened? KY Brand released their first lesbo ad! Yay for lezzies, yay for lube! Yay!

Rachel Maddow is the BOMB, okay? Mitt Romney said he supported the personhood amendments and he doesn't really even understand how birth control works. So.. here's a video of Rachel Maddow explaining how pregnancies happen and how birth control prevents pregnancies while in her 'man-cave'. Yes, it's a little degrading to men,
sorry guys,
but it's funny.. because these bigwig politicians are arguing about my uterus and don't even understand the concept of BIRTH CONTROL. Watch below, ya'll.

While all of that personhood crap happened last year, do you know what else happened? The Obama Administration declared that starting in 2013 all Health Insurance must cover the copays of birth control! That sounds awful nice, considering this year I will pay $312 for birth control! That's almost two car payments for me, or clothes, or I don't know, a PARKING PASS at school!?

This girl. This. This is one of the best things to happen for women in 2011 because sooner than we know it, this little girl will be a full grown woman and we NEED LITTLE GIRLS like this! I can watch this over and over again and never get bored with her. Get it, girl!

We also have this new ad for Always pads that doesn't make women seem like alien creatures with blue blood! Designed by a man, by the way. When you got your period did you think, wait a minute isn't this supposed to be blue?!

Welp, there ya have it. Those are the things I loved the most out of the 50. What were your favorites?