Friday, December 30

Fat Acceptance


Okay, so.. I am an obese 23 year old woman and I look good. That's not being conceited, it's not being ignorant to health issues.. it's just a fact. I like my body! Of course there are some things that I would change, but overall, I'm very happy with myself. I blame these wishes on our society. On that note, I wanted to devote my first Fat Friday post to Fat Acceptance.

A little history, I've been fat my whole life. Other than when I was 5 or 6 and had appendicitis because I couldn't eat or when I went through a period of anorexia/mental disease central while in middle school and ended up only getting down to a size 12 or so.. I've never been healthy and been smaller than a size 16. And we all know that a size 16 is considered disgusting in our culture. Every time I go to the doctor, do they say anything about my weight? No. The nurses actually tell me that I look great, that all of my stats are great and that I'm healthy.

Our culture has spread its disgust for fat people throughout the world; when developing countries start to watch our television shows, for example, it is fact that the rates of eating disorders multiplies compared to what it was before America puked its beliefs all over the place.

In my post from the other day, I said that I couldn't find any healthy Tumblrs that featured naturally thin people; I only found pro-eating disorder/fat-shaming blogs. I found one that pissed me off to no end, and I need to explain why. The Tumblr is named I Will Become Skinny, and I do need to warn.. I'm confident in myself and in my body and this tumblr made me feel like the biggest, warmest, most disgusting pile of elephant shit. It must be a pretty new Tumblr, because I went to the bottom in no time, thank god.

They featured some posts with before and after pictures of people, celebrities and 'normal' people, and honestly, I don't know what was wrong with the majority of these before pictures! They also have a link to an article with pictures of What Junk Food Does to Girls. GIRLS, that's it. What about men? Men are allowed to be fat, but women aren't... didn't you know that? This further supports our culture's ideals about women needing to be oppressed in comparison to men, we are supposed to look down in pictures.. be as small as possible and take up as little room as possible, which is why it's ladylike to cross your legs, right?

They also have this picture:

This is so fucking irritating that I want to punch my face in, seriously. If you're hungry, do those 6 things because you're not really hungry! Swearsies, honey. WHAT!? If none of those things work, then you should eat because your body really needs food? Are you sure? Yeah? Okay.

This brought me to a Tumblr named Curveless, the one credited for the above picture. There, I found the following pictures:

Food is the bad thing in this pyramid, you aren't supposed to eat.. duh.

Will you ever get there? NO YOU WON'T. Do you know why? What's the sad thing about these 'thinspo' pictures? THEY'RE not real. That magazine picture above? It's clearly photoshopped! That isn't a REAL body, therefore.. you'll starve yourself and work out forever while continuing to stare at thinspiration and never look like that!

Then I was taken to this Tumblr, You Should Know Why, and yeah. I just think it's completely ridiculous that these girls who don't eat and exercise an unhealthy amount are considered to be the healthy ones, when I am the one eating my three meals a day and I'm considered unhealthy because of my body type. I know, from experience, that it's impossible for my body to look like any of these people from the internet, magazines or advertisements.. it doesn't happen! I've experienced the physical being more important than the mental in many instances and I've actually quit jobs because of how artificial and uncaring people can be.

When I was in middle school, I starved myself. I went through a very bad stage of OCD and because of this I was obsessed with having control. I was afraid of getting food poisoning, so I'd only eat pre-packaged food--I know it makes no sense but I honestly believed it then, and that food was a Pop-Tart. One package a day. That's all I'd eat. I lost weight
(well, duh)
, I got complimented, I felt amazing because everyone thought I was beautiful. This developed into an eating disorder and I got to the point where my mother had to carry around anti-nausea medication because if I ate the smallest amount of food, I'd feel sick to my stomach. This was because I never ate! You know it's bad when your stomach can't even handle a salad without feeling sick, because of how small it had gotten. I loved the grumbling hunger pains, because it meant I was doing something right. This went on for a few years. After all of this, I wasn't under a size 12.

Can you say that I'm lazy because I'm built differently than smaller women? Honestly, yes, I'm lazy sometimes. If I wanted to be a smaller size I could work out and I could eat more nutritious meals and lose weight. I know this because I used a website called SparkPeople when I weighed 315 pounds, realizing I was unhealthy and feeling like complete shit, I signed up and lost 60 pounds in a matter of about 6 months. But, my OCD came back in full force after I'd controlled it for years and I began obsessing about tracking every calorie and about working out for 75 minutes on the elliptical at least 5 times a week.

Is it wrong of me to not want to feel like a crazy person? Is it wrong of me to love my body when I'm a size 20(ish)? Why is that so bad? I feel beautiful the majority of the time. I'm not blaming anyone for how I look. BUT if these websites make me feel bad about myself, and I've grown into a pretty confident person, I can only imagine what it does to people who have extremely low self-esteem.

Screw you thinspo blogs and fat-shamers but I give the biggest screw you to our culture.

Here I am, take it.. or leave it.

xoxo forever,

Thursday, December 29

Things I Love // Antiques, Androgyny & Awesome Stuff

Sorry that this post is late, ya'll. I had a big day yesterday! Went to work and then I went antiquing with Mattie! We found this amaaaazing antique store on Kellogg and oh my god it was heaven. Also, today was Jay's birthday so happy birthday ya old man!

Here are some of the things that I love this week!

I definitely love wearing skater hats and hugging on cute puppies at my Wagner's house.

Who doesn't love Jesus on a vintage pink couch? This was priced at $500 I think, hopefully Jesus is included.

Funny faces in an antique mirror hutch thing that's filled with old lady antique things? Check.

MULLET! I got my hair cut on Tuesday and it's awesome! It used to be longer on the right side and shaved on the left, but we chopped it into something amazing!

This model! Andrej Pejic is so hot!

This. For obvious reasons. 1) Modern Family is great. 2) This quote is great. 3) He's adorable.

I'd like my arm to look something like this. How's that sound?


AHHHHHH! I don't know where the hell this came from, but I saw it on here and HAD to share it. Ideas of beauty, there ya go.

Until next week, send me some things that you love! Email me!

Love ya'll,


Wednesday, December 28

Ron Paul

So, the other night I was at a friends house and the Republican Presidential Candidates came up in conversation. Blah, blah, okay. I am proudly Democrat. I get very defensive when it comes to politics, like many of the people in our country, because of how binary it is. It's either you're this, or you're THIS! One is good, one is evil; one is this, one is that. Blah. I say that I'm proudly Democrat because in my opinion, how could I be a gay, feminist woman in our country and label myself as a Republican... when the majority of the arguments that I hear from Republicans are for the rich getting richer and for capitalism and pushing to take away any reproductive rights that a woman has?

Anyway, Ron Paul came up in the discussion, and my friend said that he is okay with gays getting married. I'm all like, HUH? Really? Because I thought he was against equal marriage rights. This shows how misinformed someone can be, so I decided to do my research.

While researching this morning, I went to the source, Ron Paul's Presidential Campaign Website. There's a tab labeled The Issues, and under that are topics of interest like the economy, the second amendment, abortion, healthcare and... wait, what's missing? Gay marriage. Interesting isn't it? Equal rights for gays is a MAJOR topic in our culture and government right now, but Ron Paul's campaign decides to leave that off of The Issues section? Why do you think that is?

I Googled a bit more and decided, after some thought, to click on his Wikipedia page. Forgive me, I was having trouble finding a clear answer on the 'gay thing'. So, Ron Paul is known for being very conservative personally, but fighting against FEDERAL laws banning things; he'd rather leave those decisions up to the states to decide. In regards to DADT, Ron Paul has said that if something bad is happening because of a gay person then the specific person should be kicked out but otherwise be equally allowed to serve, and that if something bad happened with someone who was straight he would want them out of the military, as well.

In case you didn't know, I love Jezebel. They recently wrote an article about Ron Paul and said that he couldn't even shake a gay person's hand.. he was uncomfortable. So I went to the article that they cited as their source, naturally. This brought me to Right Wing News, yay. Eric Dondero writes that Ron isn't a bigot, isn't racist and could possibly be a homophobe. Wait, what?

Is Ron Paul a homo-phobe? Well, yes and no. He is not all bigoted towards homosexuals. He supports their rights to do whatever they please in their private lives. He is however, personally uncomfortable around homosexuals, no different from a lot of older folks of his era.

That last sentence is what really bothers me. 1) it's saying that all old people hate the gays, which isn't true and 2) if older folks are afraid of certain people who happen to be American then maybe just maybe they shouldn't be running for
office! Right?! Anyway..

He's explained that any person--fetus or .. person, should be entitled to equal rights. He says that it doesn't matter if someone is gay or straight, we should all have the same rights. Okay, I like that Ron, but.. I'm not with you on this abortion thing. In the video above, he explains that all life should be treasured, the classic anti-choice argument. What if I was 15, got pregnant and wanted to treasure MY OWN life? Your political party pushed to make it so that I'd have to have parental consent to get the morning after pill, or to even get an abortion. His argument is to persuade women to choose adoption, because you know there are so many children in America being adopted.

I'll give this to Ron Paul, though, he is a republican candidate that you don't see very often. But (!) this abortion, anti-choice, pro-life crap is what's irritating me the most. Also, Ron Paul, you are SUPER sneaky with your homophobic ideas, I read your little letter from 2004, and NOW I know your sneaky tactics. Screw you! Another thing I noticed about his website is that he doesn't have a death penalty or a war section. If human life is so sacred, where do you stand on those issues, Ron Paul?

ps: I'd like to add this:

‎"The rate of AIDS infection is on the increase again. From the gay point of view, the reasons seem quite sensible. First, these men don't really see a reason to live past their fifties. They are not married, they have no children, and their lives are centered on new sexual partners…because sex is the center of their lives, they want it to be as pleasurable as possible, which means unprotected sex. Third, they enjoy the attention and pity that comes with being sick." - Ron Paul

So, friend, no.. Ron Paul is pretty much just like all of the other closed-minded buttcheeses. I don't like you Ron Paul.

Tuesday, December 27

New Year’s Resolutions 2012

Are you tired of the same old boring resolution that practically everyone you know has? Losing weight? Do you have this resolution? …do I? Of course I do! I want to be healthier, but tons of people have this goal for the wrong reasons. Because of our stupid media and our stupid culture being so skinny-fied. ALL bodies should be appreciated, right?!

Here are some of my resolutions!:

smoke less
eat better food (less fast food, smaller portions, less processed)
stay organized and do homework ON TIME
And if you need help loving your body this holiday season or into this new year, check out these tumblrs!

Curves Appreciation Society, Fuck Yeah Chubby Fashion, Love the Chub

ps: I tried to find some naturally thin body love tumblrs but I couldn’t find any that weren’t pro-eating disorder. Let me know if you find any!

You should really check out Miss Representation, the documentary focused on our country’s advertising and pop culture. VERY great documentary!

ALSO! Follow my Facebook page, my Tweets and spread this blog! Links are at the top of the page! I’d really appreciate it!


Monday, December 26

Letter to my Gay Son

Today, I went on one of my favorite websites, Unicorn Booty. They talked about an article in The Huffington Post, an article written by Randi Reitan—which isn’t really an article per say.. it’s a letter to her son for Christmas. I felt this was relevant, since yesterday was Christmas and all. :)

So, click on the link and go read the letter. Go on. Read it.

Okay, so I’m sitting with my mom when this article pops up on my laptop, so obviously I make her pause her TV show so that I can read it to her. I’m reading it, and I’m so oddly (yet not too oddly) fixated on this letter; I felt like it was more than a letter between a mother and a son, I felt like this letter was to me.. to all of the gay community. That’s the great thing about the internet, though, right?

Anyway, I’m reading it and towards the middle of it I’m noticing this terrible lump in my throat but I continue reading because out of the corner of my eye I can see my mother staring at me and intently listening—which, no offense mom, doesn’t happen all of the time (especially when one of her shows is on).

I look up after I’m finished reading. I look at my mama and her nose is red, a surefire sign that she’s about to cry or has been crying. I notice a tear roll down her cheek and then my eyes instantly water up. Why are we so emotional about this letter? The mother in this letter wants to give her son one gift for Christmas—equality.

You hear a lot of jokes around Christmas time about people coming out to their families, blah, blah, including that HILARIOUS Funny or Die video that I’m sure a lot of you have seen. I even have a close friend that dealt with that over the holiday, not coming out necessarily, but family asking about the elephant in the room. And I’ve had a dose of that with my brother in the past few weeks, asking me how a date that I went on awhile back went, with a girl (GASP!), when I’ve never officially ‘come out’ to him.

I want to dedicate this post to all of the mothers, fathers, family members, friends and the whole community that supports equality in our world. I want to thank everyone for all of the work that they’ve done in achieving that goal, for us and for our children. I want to thank my mama for being the best mama in the world, for accepting me for who I am.. even when I’m confused about what I want in life, when I’m poor as shit, or when I blab about liking women and men. I know I sound like a beauty pageant princess with all of these thank yous, but I don’t really care. I’m thankful for our world, we can move in the right direction, if our government would stop being so crazy.

So read the letter, share the letter, cry a little bit if you need to, and have a great night.