My fat is not invisible. It is far more than that.
My fat is something that you don't want to see.
My fat is something that sometimes I don't want to see.
But I love my body and I'm tired of you bringing me down.
I will wear leggings and I will wear an off the shoulder top
and I will walk around with my head held high
and I will own the sidewalk.
I'm tired of hating my body after I go shopping because I
can't find anything to fucking wear. I'm tired of having to explain
myself, defend myself, for being the way that I am.
It isn't enough to tell someone that I like who I am.
That I go crazy obsessive with diets and exercise.
It isn't enough.
I'm here. My fat is here. We aren't going anywhere.
My sexuality is not invisible. A lot of people seem to think it is.
Or want it to be. Someday you'll be married to a man, Cortnie.
I doubt it.
Just because I'm femme and wear the drag of a woman does not
mean that I can't like a woman. It does not mean that I just
haven't found the right guy. It does not mean that my body
inhibits me from finding men, so I resort to women.
Fuck that idea.
It's exhausting to have to continually come out as queer.
It's exhausting to have to always be excluded from topics,
because I'm not knowledgeable in straight sex, I'm not knowledgeable
in shopping at straight sized stores and finding clothes that fit me.
Cortnie is coming out, in more than one way, everyday.
I was told today that I'm the type of person that people want to listen to.
That people want to know. That people want to learn from.
I want to marinate in that and own it.
I was told that I'm powerful.
That I can make change, and that I am magnetic.
I will never let that piece of information escape my mind.
I am working to become a better person, and I will continue to work until
I am the best version of myself.
Love you all,