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Thursday, May 17

I Made an Appointment at the Gym & SURPRISE, I Was Fat-Shamed

Just because I search Google Images for big women working out and get only thin women working out doesn't mean that it shouldn't or can't happen. I tried to find a picture to go along with this post, but they were all super fit women on ellipticals and treadmills, and that's triggering to me, so I'm not posting any images with this post. 
So, I just got off of the phone with the gym. In 2009 I signed up for a three year membership at this fitness club, we'll call it.. Work Ya Booty. I haven't used it since probably August of 2009, so I called to make sure it wasn't expired yet. The woman starts explaining to me that it isn't expired, immediately goes into trying to get me to sign up for another year right now over the phone for just 100 something dollars or I can go month to month for $15, and then says they completely remodeled. I follow their page on Facebook, so I already knew that. 

I asked if I could schedule an appointment to look around, see the new equipment and learn about it so I don't look like a damn idiot walking in there. We make one for tomorrow. I'm excited at this point. I don't have to worry about some dilwad using the fitness room in my apartment complex anymore? Sign me right up, right now. (Check out my Tumblr posts about my fitness journey, including that dilwad here) We're getting off the phone and she says something along the lines of, "we're going to get you fit for this summer. We'll weigh you in tomorrow and then we'll get you to lose weight and feel better." 

I don't know what to think about this, but it made me uncomfortable. This immediately makes me think that this woman who is showing me around tomorrow is going to fat-shame me and make me feel inferior. I want to be healthier, but that doesn't necessarily mean just losing weight for me. Sure, it could help, but that's what we're told to think. If my joints are uncomfortable it's because I'm overweight. If I'm sluggish or tired, I should lose weight. If it's summer, I'm obviously going to be jealous of all of the bikini clad women.. I should lose weight. I don't know how to feel about this. 

I'm going to stay positive though, and go in there spouting my I love my body stuff and I'm going to dominate. I'm doing this to feel better about myself, get that kick in my step, and I'm doing this to be healthier. Not necessarily to lose weight. I don't want to go into this place and the trainer to see me and make a project out of me. I don't want to step on that scale tomorrow and have her show me BMI stats and tell me where it is that I should be on the weight scale. I don't need that shit because it'll just make me feel like an idiot. Without even SEEING me, this woman fat-shamed me. Guh.

xo, cortnie

6 comments:

  1. I think you should go in and say that right off the bat. Let her know that you are comfortable with your body and you just are there for health benefits, that if you lose weight along the way, great. Tell her you're worried that she will want you to be her "project" and that you don't want to be made to feel shamed. Whatever you tell her, just be upfront and honest. People go to the gym for different reasons - let her know what yours are.

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    1. That's a super great idea. I'm nervous about being weighed and all those stats, but for technical reasons, I want that to happen. I hope she doesn't assume I'm there just to lose weight and actually asks so that I don't have to just blurt it out. Thanks for the advice!

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  2. Reading that story made me feel gross, and it didn't even happen to me. Bleh! I know you've talked about it before, but I would go to the rec with you if you ever wanted a fat friend!

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    1. I'd love that! I just need an elliptical! When are you free? Message me on the facebooks!

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  3. As Drama Mama mentioned, I'd tell her exactly how I felt. I tend to recoil when people refer to my body in a 'we' are going to....because it's MY body. My own life journey aside, everything I've accomplished was without the help of someone who made me their project (they repulse me) and I've usually done far better than they have with their own bodies. When you walk in, own the place. If you can handle it, let yourself be weighed OR I suggest the pearl, 'I decline' and walk right past the scale. Don't ask for permission or authorization. Your body, your choices and decisions. Kudos to you for not being deterred.

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    1. That's what I plan on doing. I sadly canceled my appointment out of pure anxiety. :( I'm going to try and make another appointment, if not I'll just go in and workout!

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