This past Monday, I went to Starbucks in Florence, KY with a friend. I had a fabulous time sitting there talking about everything under the sun, as friends do on coffee dates. But, I got a little depressed when we were leaving. I looked out the car window. That’s really all I did. I looked out this car window and saw a bumper sticker on someone’s car. I’m one to never ignore a bumper sticker; my first car, Zelda, was covered in them, making its opinion well known to other drivers..
I always love to stir up controversy. So, anyway, I look over at this bumper sticker. It’s blue—a calming, light blue color. Welcoming, yes? I look a little closer, which I shouldn’t have done, and see this “WE SUPPORT THE MARRIAGE AMENDMENT” crap and then a cartoon man in a tux, a plus sign, a cartoon woman in a wedding dress, an equal sign, and alas, the man and woman and two kids grouped together along with a nice big red heart. The heart is what really hurt me.
How much hate can one bumper sticker give off? We probably don’t really think about it, but there’s a lot that goes behind a bumper sticker. My old ones included, “pro-choice,” “proud to be a liberal,” “caution: queers on board,” and the classic Obama/Biden sticker. What did people think when they saw mine? Baby-killer? Loud brainwashed liberal? Sinner? So, what did I think when I looked at this specific bumper sticker? I thought of hate. I thought of this person, along with many others, not recognizing me as a full person. I thought of how our government says it is separate from religion, while controlling a religious tradition—marriage. I thought of how two of my very best friends have been together for two years, and if they decided that they wanted to get married.. they wouldn’t be able to. I thought of how if I were to be in a relationship, it wouldn’t necessarily be for NOTHING, but it wouldn’t be recognized as love from my country. It made me think of how I’m trying to better our country but my peers and I continue to be pushed back.
Then, I noticed a couple (heterosexual as far as I could tell) kissing each other goodbye. I undoubtedly became even more depressed. I can’t do those sorts of things without getting stared at. I'd have to look around, be comfortable in my surroundings, and make sure no one could see us. It’s sad. It’s sad that I'd have to hide my love for someone, that I can’t scream about it in the middle of the city without fear of bullying words, or even worse.. Physical assault. You never know, you know? It’s scary out here for a queer.
Just wanted to regurgitate some of my depressing words onto all of you! Hope you all like them!
;)
xoxo
cortnie
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