Monday, January 2

Gay Assumptions & My Identity

First of all, I want to thank EVERYONE for the amazing feedback on my Fat Friday/Fat Acceptance post. I am so appreciative, and I was in heaven all weekend! I hope everyone learned something from it and I hope everyone had a fabulous new year!


Lets talk about a few gay issues that are on my mind at the moment, sar about my A.D.D., you'll just have to deal.

First, I want to talk about this article I saw, How to Explain Gay Rights To An Idiot, because it spread around Facebook and Tumblr like wildfire within the last few weeks. I hadn't clicked on it until tonight, and ya know.. I like it, I guess. One thing that stood out to me, though, are assumptions. The first few panels of the comic-stripish whatever drawings say, here's this person, you assume they can get married. Um.. no. That's not right. That's essentially the same thing as saying, here's this person, you assume they are straight. I say that because the majority of gay people in our country CANNOT get married, therefore if you're assuming someone CAN get married then you're assuming they're STRAIGHT. I know, I told you that I'm all over the place. I warned you.

This brought me to another problem I have, personally. I've had lots of experiences, as I'm sure many of my queer peers
(hehe, queer peers kind of sounds like a team or something)
have, where people assume things, as the article that I mentioned above suggested. People usually assume I'm completely straight, people assume I like men, and only like men. When in actuality--which isn't super relevant but whatever, I actually would prefer a woman, men are kind of ... just there, but I can be attracted to them therefore I don't necessarily rule them out.

I've even had people tell me that I don't like girls, which is funny, and their reasoning? That I'm just uncomfortable with my body and I'm afraid of a man seeing it. Um.. man or woman, if I was uncomfortable with my body then I'd be uncomfortable with my body.. it doesn't matter what gender the person is and my body doesn't define my sexuality.
Okay, stepping off that bigass soap box now.

ANYWAY, I worked at a salon in Northern Kentucky for about a year, and you'd think that would be a pretty gay friendly place..
(the fact that it's a salon, not that it's in Kentucky, of course)
, but people were STUNNED when after probably 9 months of working there I was suddenly 'outted' when I never was hiding who I was in the first place! It ended up being 'the gossip' of the break room, and I was asked plenty of questions about my sexuality for months. That's fine. I'm up for answering questions. BUT do I sit around and ask people when they figured out they were straight? When their first straight experience was? No. Because THAT would be weird, right? EXACTLY. Get out of my business! Que amazing YouTube video:

I know I'm babbly-mc-blabberson tonight, but this topic goes in a lot of directions. I'm considered by some of my friends (mild friends) to be a lipstick lesbian, even though I don't label myself as a lesbian... how can I be a lipstick then? And in relation to that, I actually had a friend tell me this weekend that he didn't know what I was until recently. Why does it matter? I've even had people tell me that I'm androgynous. Awesome, that's great. Is that why people get confused? And really, the only thing that could physically categorize me as androgynous would be my short hair cut... but are these people saying that my attitude is masculine? Is that why I'm androg? I'm confident and I'm loud and try not to put up with peoples' shit.. does that make me manly? I think that's a topic for another day.

All in all, lets stop assuming things about people, okay? What's it matter what label I have for myself? People have to feel comfortable about themselves, and in order for that to happen, they need to be comfortable with their surroundings.. and if I'm an aspect of said surrounding.. then I guess that's why questions come up.

What do you all think?


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